


𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐻𝑜𝑡𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑀𝑒 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑌𝑜𝑢

by catboy64



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Derealization, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Might become a series of oneshots, Mild Self Harm, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Stanford Pines, Unless Stated Otherwise, ford is soft, gender neutral reader, me? making a reader fic about my own issues?, no betas we die like men, perhaps, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28162647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboy64/pseuds/catboy64
Summary: In which you're dealing with the Bad Brain Hours and a scientist owl is there to comfort you. ((AKA, the author has Bad Brain and is using a fictional old man as a coping mechanism.))Might become a series of one shots, may contain triggering content so make sure to read the warnings on each chapter and stay safe, my darlings!
Relationships: Ford Pines/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐻𝑜𝑡𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑀𝑒 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑌𝑜𝑢

**Author's Note:**

> (tw: descriptions of dissociation and self deprecation please stay safe!
> 
> title is from dream sweet in sea major. this one was kinda written on the fly, so sorry if it sucks.)

~ alone at the edge of the universe, humming a tune ~

You feel like you're floating.

Everything is somehow too much and nothing at the same time. It felt like everything, including yourself, was distant and loud. A part of you wanted to force yourself to feel something. Anything.

̶A̶̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶a̶̶r̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶f̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶i̶̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶l̶̶o̶̶a̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶r̶̶.̶

You numbly notice your boyfriend, Stanford, fixing you with a concerned glance.

He always noticed when you were feeling "off". He was always good about noticing these things.

̶'̶̶Y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶d̶̶o̶̶n̶̶'̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶d̶̶e̶̶s̶̶e̶̶r̶̶v̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶i̶̶m̶̶.̶̶'̶̶ ̶̶Y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶r̶̶a̶̶i̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶e̶̶l̶̶l̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶.̶

You both were at a get together. A hangout around a fire with all the closest friends of the Pines family. There was s'mores, there was campfire stories, there was lighthearted laughter.

And yet, and yet, and yet here you were.

Sitting alone, feeling close and yet so, so far away from it all. Your mind floating somewhere in the furthest depths of space.

It was cold in space, you rub your hands for a warmth that didn't come.

It was hard to breathe in space, your head felt light with the lack of oxygen.

But, most of all, it was lonely in space. You watched everyone else. They all seemed to have someone to talk to, laugh with, be with. You knew you could've easily talked to any of them, and yet it didn't feel right to just barge in on conversation.

̶'̶̶W̶̶h̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶?̶̶'̶

̶'̶̶N̶̶o̶̶b̶̶o̶̶d̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶a̶̶r̶̶e̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶f̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶'̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶n̶̶l̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶n̶̶v̶̶i̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶u̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶o̶̶f̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶m̶̶o̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶t̶̶e̶̶s̶̶y̶̶.̶̶'̶

You felt your chest constrict, the dark thoughts swarming in your mind.

You needed to leave. Now.

Rising up from the log you were sitting on, your movements feeling hollow and robotic to yourself, you let your feet take you away. It didn't matter where you went, you just needed to go somewhere.

It felt like you were walking for both hours and also only a few minutes, all you know is that you found yourself in a clearing in the forest. You could hear some faint chatter, so you weren't too far from the party, thankfully.

You sit down against a nearby tree, wrapping your arms around yourself. Still so, so cold... Why were you so cold?

The night sky was beautiful. Being out in a small town made it easy to see the stars, thousands speckled across the sky. Far away, floating, just like you were.

Floating alone, floating alone, floating alone...

But maybe not, because in a moment you hear some heavy yet soft footsteps nearby.

"Love?" A gentle voice asked. His voice, with an edge of worry in tone. A small part of you, the part that wasn't frozen and numb from the cold of not-space, felt a pang of guilt over making him worry.

"I'm here, Ford." You heard yourself respond, still rubbing your hands and arms for warmth. Still looking up at the stars, still floating.

"Mind if I join you?" He had asked, and once you gave him a nod in the affirmative, he came over and took a seat next to you.

The two of you sat there next to each other in silence. You still hadn't looked over, instead staring into the never ending, floaty, cold space. A six fingered hand rests onto yours, and you become aware that your fingernails had begun to claw into your arm, trying to stay grounded on the earth below you while your mind felt like it was going to be swallowed whole by the cold darkness.

"...Sweetheart, are you alright?" This finally got you to look over to him. His eyebrows were knit together, his hazelnut eyes filled with a painful concern that made your heart pang with guilt once more.

Cold and your heart feeling tight, you didn't know how to respond. You silently pulled your knees up to your chest, wanting to hide away from the world, wanting to float away, wanting to disappear. Anything.

That little action seemed to speak louder than any words, because in moments Stanford had moved towards you and wrapped his arms around you in a soft yet firm embrace. His weight around you a silent assurance that you wouldn't be floating away if he had anything to say about it.

"I'm sorry... you should be having fun." ̶I̶̶'̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶ ̶̶c̶̶o̶̶l̶̶d̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶I̶̶'̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y̶̶ ̶̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶b̶̶e̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶e̶̶s̶̶s̶̶,̶̶ ̶̶I̶̶'̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶s̶̶o̶̶r̶̶r̶̶y̶̶.̶ You held him with your hands, desperately holding onto his warm embrace.

"And leave you alone here?" He asked, sounding confused by the mere idea.

"....Maybe I should be left alone..." You muttered, your chest tight as if the heart within was being squeezed. You felt his hand cup your chin as he tenderly tilted your head to face him.

"Darling, please don't say that. You don't deserve to suffer alone, you never have and you never will." Feeling tears at the edges of your eyes, you quietly rested your head on his shoulder and he gently pet your head in a soothing fashion.

"I love you, I love you so, so much. And I'm going to stay with you until this passes." He spoke gently as he continued to stroke your head with his hand.

Sure enough, you slowly felt yourself relax like this, just letting your boyfriend hold you and pet your head, and for the first time that night you felt truly safe and cared for.

. • 💮 🌻 💮 • .


End file.
